Feel like you’ve exhausted every option you could think up on your own and you just want to storm into some marriage counselors’ office and shout, “Help me save my marriage? Please!” Except for the shouting part, you’re actually on the right track looking for advice from some place other than your own head.

With a Little Help from My Friends

If you have any friends who’ve salvaged a relationship from imminent divorce, pick their brains until you discover how they did it. Don’t just think about friends your age, either. Older couples can be a goldmine of advice on working through marriage troubles.

Even if they seem to have a relationship without flaws now, you might be surprised to hear what they’ve gone through to get where they are. Sometimes though, the problem with asking friends for advice is their experience is limited to what worked for them,but what works for someone else won’t necessarily work for you.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

The Internet is great place to find information on just about everything and marriage is no exception. The advantage of getting advice from forums is that you can ask questions anonymously and get opinions from a variety of people who’ll most likely have very different view points from you. The drawback is that you won’t get a truly useful response from one “help me save my marriage” post. The lack of real-time interaction means you don’t get the back-and-forth dialogue you’d need to really get to the root of your problems and find a workable solution.

The Doctor Will See You Now

It’s one of the first thing well meaning friends ask when you admit your marriage is on the rocks: “Have you thought of counseling?” There’s good reason for that. A professional marriage counselor has training in resolving marital conflicts and many years of experience working with different types of couples and problems.

The trouble you usually run into here is that one spouse doesn’t want to go. Usually, that partner believes the marriage has already flat-lined and any attempt to revive it is a waste of time and energy. If you’re partner feels that way, don’t give up just yet. While you want to avoid pressuring or begging, simple logic can work wonders.

Counseling can help, of course, but it’s not a cure-all. Did you know the average marriage counselors’ success rate is only around 30%? That’s hardly enough to make it worth shouting “Help me save my marriage!” at the counselor.

Throw the Book at ‘Em

If you’ve been looking online for tips on how to save a marriage, you’ve probably run into a few of those ebooks that provide a method for working through a marital crisis even when one spouse is threatening to throw in the towel. They may not seem like much, but in reality, the best of these can be surprisingly helpful.

Most of these plans were developed by highly experienced therapists who found a “recipe” for what works, so they usually have a success rate that is higher than that of most of the marriage counselors out there.

Whatever else happens, don’t fall into the trap of believing your marriage problems  will simply evaporate on their own. It’s not enough to sit and wonder “Who can help me save my marriage now?” You need to decide where you’re going to go for practical and realistic advice and take action on that advice as soon as you possibly can. The longer you put it off, the harder your problems will be to solve and the more they will multiply.