Do Something About Jealousy in Marriage
Jealousy in marriage can be changed if you’re prepared to. If you don’t tackle it head on then it can take over your marriage before you recognize it. You must be aware that jealousy keeps you back and holds your partner back from a fulfilling relationship together. A national survey of couples counselors shows that jealousy in marriage is a problem in one third of couples entering marriage counseling. Jealousy forces a wedge between married people rapidly and profoundly, with more negative consequences than any other relationship problem. Even financial problems, the curse of nearly all relationships, falls away as the worst issue for a long term relationship after jealousy.
Jealousy can be toxic to a relationship and can lead to troubling arguments, crying, resentment and accusations, even when no actual unfaithfulness is present. Jealousy is frequently due to earlier experiences: You become hopeless, self-protective and suspicious as a consequence of being hurt in an earlier relationship, carrying on as if you think that your spouse will hurt you in the same way you were injured by someone else.
The origin of all jealousy is fear; fear of the unknown and of change, fear of losing control in a relationship, and fear of loss. It is a reflection of our own insecurity about our worth to our partner, anxiety about being competent as a lover, and doubts about our attractiveness or appeal.
Jealousy, though a normal emotion to a certain extent and one experienced by everyone at one time in their life, can make people respond in intense and sometimes unforgiving ways and these acts can be completely out of character. Jealousy might lead to anger that grows into abuse. Because of this jealousy may not be as innocent as you or your spouse first think.
The most important thing you can do to overcome jealous feelings is to recall that when you handle jealousy the right way, it will be a short-lived emotion you can talk over with each other, not a disaster. You’ll have more success if you stay steady, and handle jealousy as a normal issue and work it out together.
The soundest advice is to keep each partner involved within the marriage with full communication, never being secretive and always open, so that each individual actively supports the relationship.
It’s so much sweeter to be in a relationship when each spouse feels valued and trusted. If you can’t release your marriage from jealous feelings then get some form of help, either through therapy or through online resources. Please don’t think you need to pretend everything’s fine!
June 29th, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Great advice your speaking about it so the rest of us can know! Definitely will keep in mind. Also, took me a while to get it right, you have to nurture the environment that first attracted you both and also stop doing a lot of mistakes we all make naturally if you want to save your marriage